11.13.09
I was…
…about to put up a post that was all outraged and thinky about the Archdiocese of Washington and the whole social-services-contracts vs. same-sex-marriage thing. And how annoyed I was at the Church for threatening to withdraw from those contracts if DC passed the laws permitting same-sex marriage.
Because I? Am totally for anyone getting married who wants to. I mean, I have my own personal opinions on what people should probably think about before they do that, but I don’t really care so much about the chromosomal makeup of the parties involved.
And then I read something suggesting that it’s actually the District that would end the contracts if the Church didn’t modify the definition of marriage that it’s held for… well… yeah. The Church has been around for a long time. And I don’t really agree with their stance on this, but… it’s a religion. And people have a right to be religious ignoramuses if they want, and I have a right to not associate with them. And some other states have granted limited exceptions on these issues to make sure that the homeless continue to have some refuge – in the District, these exceptions would mean millions of dollars in social services, to people who really really need them. As I understand it, it also means that the Church wouldn’t marry same-sex couples, wouldn’t provide benefits, as a private employer, to same-sex spouses of Church employees, etc.
And so, it seems like it’s a lot more complicated than it looks, on the surface. Because, well, people should be able to get married, and have those marriages mean something to employers who have benefits plans. But religions shouldn’t have to change basic tenets in order to do good things for people, at least some of whom would likely die without those good things. And practically speaking, it’s hard to say that the District would be right in denying someone food, because someone else couldn’t get health insurance. I don’t know if it’s impossible to say that, but I definitely find it hard.
So, I’m not so sure where I stand on the issue now, given how strongly I support the 1st Amendment, and how strongly I support people in love being able to make a lifelong commitment to each other and attain the social benefits thereof, and how strongly I support people having food to eat, and a place to sleep at night. Maybe the misery of the population whose lives are normally improved through those services, some of whom are undoubtedly same-sex couples themselves, is the price we have to pay for equality AND freedom of religion to coexist.
I just really hope not.
11.12.09
Awful Anticipation
I don’t watch The Hills, for a number of reasons. Primarily, my television time is divided thusly: 70% food-related shows, Grey’s Anatomy, The Good Wife, and various iterations of The Real Houswives take up the remaining 30%, depending on when I’m around to watch them. When I’m ill, I’ll usually set the remote to a marathon of one of the Law and Order shows, or perhaps a CSI or NCIS marathon, all of which seem to take turns staking out 8-10 hour blocks of time on various cable channels.
Clearly, I am no stranger to terrible television. However, this particular habit requires multitasking, as I cannot bear to watch people making *complete* asses of themselves. It’s the reason I hate the National Lampoon movies starring Chevy Chase. It’s just too awful. I can’t watch.
So when I read this lovely preview of MTV’s latest show, about a group of Jersey boys living down the shore, I had mixed feelings. At the very least, I’m going to wind up allocating some valuable Tivo real estate for a show from which my eyes will be averted 85% of the time. On the plus side, I’ll probably get a fair amount of reading, cleaning, emailing, and baking done while I’m waiting for the idiocy to subside to an acceptable level.
MTV inspiring greater domestic productivity. Who knew?
11.11.09
Thank you.
Especially after recent events, all I can think to say is thank you.
Thank you, Mike. Thank you, Co-Worker I’ve Always Liked and Respected. Thank you, Random Internet Friend.
Thank you, Uncle.
Thank you all, for ensuring that we have the freedom to focus on so many other things, to ensure that we live in a place where we can talk about anything we want, however we want.
But the freedom that they fought for, and the country grand they wrought for, Is their monument to-day, and for aye.
~Thomas Dunn English
11.10.09
Running out
I’m running out of things to say, I think. I mean, I could certainly talk about how ready I am for this cold to hightail it to someone else’s upper respiratory region, because I HATE the taste of cough drops and yet, they’re the only things that keep me from showering germs all over my fellow commuters and cube-dwellers. But really, there’s only so much one can say about a cold.
I haven’t had the gumption to do much more with my condo than clean it – and that halfheartedly, at best.
I’m not spending Thanksgiving with my family this year, for perhaps the first time ever, but I don’t know what to say about that yet.
And there’s the situation. The one that I’ve been alluding to for weeks now, and can’t really get into more detail about without betraying the principles of Darth Vaguery that have made it possible to maintain this space without pissing people off. But it’s driving me insane, because how can people who seem perfectly decent in so many ways, who seem to be possessed of a perfectly normal value system… How can they just choose to be wrong? How can they choose to be wrong over something that is so clearly not worth it? And how am I supposed to sit there and keep my mouth shut?
It takes me a long time to let go of people, when I have at one point thought they had potential. And it’s not just because I hate being wrong. It’s because I keep wondering if there’s just something I’m missing, something I’m not seeing. I don’t want to cross that point until I’m sure there’s no reason not to.
And so, I have a hard time letting go, and so right now that task is filling up my brain and not giving me all that much more to say.
11.05.09
Roleplaying
Yeah, not THAT kind. Perhaps another time.
Because, you see, I’m not sleeping again. I mean, I am – from roughly an hour after the Nyquil is ingested until 4:30 am, and then from 5:15 until whenever I wake up (thank you, 6:10 alarm this morning). That time while I’m waiting for the Nyquil to kick in, and that lovely intermission during the wee hours? Have been spent wanting to have a conversation with S.E.
We have a history of doing a lot of the same things. She played the oboe, I played the oboe. She did certain activities in high school, I did certain activities in high school. She went to a certain school in upstate NY, I very nearly wound up at that same school. She majored in English and Psych., I majored in English and Gov’t. She went to law school, I went to law school.
And eventually, she got married and had kids. And I haven’t. And while I’d happily consider making a lifetime commitment under the right circumstances, I’m pretty sure I don’t want kids. I look at that life, and I don’t really want it for myself.
And so, when she said that my decision not to attend the birthday party felt like a rejection of her life, I didn’t know what to say. She’s not entirely wrong. I don’t want that life – if I wanted that life, I’d be in a mommy group of my own, right now. I feel as though when she got married, I realized something she didn’t – that we wouldn’t have as much in common anymore, that we’d have to redefine our relationship to one another.
I feel like she just assumed I’d catch up at some point, the way I always had. That I’d find my own Husband v 1.3, reproduce a couple of years later, and we’d be in the same playdate-scheduling, chauffering-to-preschool boat.
And that’s not going to happen. I love S.E., and I still think she’s wonderful in so many ways, and there are a lot of ways I’d still like to emulate her as I grow up. But… I can’t decide to arrange my entire life a certain way just so we can continue to be close, easily – so that it can be more convenient for her to be my friend as well as my sister. I’m not asking her to make multiple trips down her to immerse herself in my life - I don’t think she’d enjoy it. I just want her to accept the life I’ve chosen for me, the way I’ve tried to do for her.
11.04.09
My Tree
So when you’re sick, and working from home, you try to find a good spot that will let you accomplish things with just the right amount of distraction. For me, this is my lovely chocolate brown chair, that faces my front windows and makes television viewing rather difficult.
Currently, if one looks out the windows, just past my balcony, one’s eyes run into a wall of crimson, orange, gold, and emerald, shot through with twisty dark branches. It’s the sort of place I would have imagined as a woodland nest, when I was little, where I would have wanted to climb up with a book and nestle myself at the nexus between branch and trunk. Where I probably would have done exactly that, at least until some insect or worm insinuated itself between my skin and clothing, probably somewhere around the neck.
What I’m grateful for, is that I can still put myself there, in a way… nestle myself between a branch and the trunk, gaze up through the canopy of rainbow leaves, and never worry about insects or slugs. At least, in between assignments.
11.03.09
Speechless
Well, not entirely. Really, I could still do an excellent Phyllis Diller impression.
I’m a big baby when ill. And right now, I want someone to bring me matzoh ball soup, to make me vats of tea, and to handle that little laundry problem that’s been growing in the corner.
Sadly, I’m still in this little condo of mine sans roommate or kindly governess figure, so I’ll have to fix my own spoonful of sugar to help the nyquil go down…
11.02.09
Nick’s Costume Warehouse
Ok. Hopefully, you’ve had a chance to watch the video. The idea for my costume originated here, and the outfit was a rousing success, thanks in large part to the Helpful Artistic Person who not only created my “French’s” banner complete with authentic lettering, but who also willingly donned a frog mask.
It was a very entertaining evening.
In other news, I thought it would be a good idea, for some reason, to schedule a hair appointment involving noxious chemicals for 3:00 Sunday afternoon. While the results please me (currently a subtle red that will likely turn auburn with time), I have learned that hangovers and foils don’t mix.
Finally, I seem to be losing my voice, something that I suspect is related to a late night of partying plus exposure to noxious fumes. Should I discover otherwise, I will have a strongly worded letter for the makers of my flu shots… just as soon as I get out from under the covers.
10.30.09
Oh, the irony.
I called Sibling Extraoridinare yesterday, hoping to wish Things One and Two a happy Birthday, but they were at day care whilst Sibling Extraordinaire (S.E., for pete’s sake) prepared her house for their birthday party, which is this Saturday. Their birthday party, to which she has invited both sets of grandparents, our cousin (who has two little ones of her own), and a number of friends S.E. has made through various parenting groups. And me.
I told her shortly after she proposed the idea, a couple of months ago, that I wouldn’t be coming up for the party. First of all, it’s not like the twins are going to have significant memories of their second birthday party – so it’s not like they’ll be affronted if I don’t show. Second, um. Let’s take a look at that guest list (which I originally thought included other family members of whom I am not so fond).
I would be the sole unmarried and childless person in attendance over the age of 7.
Anyway, S.E. told me that she was really hurt by the fact that I wasn’t coming. That it made her view me in a different light.
S.E. also told me that my godparents, who have been fixtures at our Thanksgiving table for as long as I can remember, have decided not to come this year, and that Dr. Taggart is really upset by this. And S.E. said that she’d gently tried to point out that perhaps my godparents really wanted to spend the holiday with their daughter and granddaughter, who are hosting the day for the daughter’s in-laws, this year. And S.E. said that she thought this was a reasonable thing to want.
So it’s a reasonable thing for my godparents to want to spend Thanksgiving with their daughter and granddaughter, but it’s not a reasonable thing for me to want to spend Halloween with friends, rather than drive seven hours total to be at a children’s birthday party where I would be the only non-parent adult in attendance? At least, it’s unreasonable enough for that decision to change the way someone sees me for the negative?
Good to know, I suppose.
10.29.09
Shirts
I need some.
I have sufficient quantities of cute/witty tshirts for pool and the like. I have a reasonable amount of shirts for work. What I don’t have, is shirts I like for going out.
Because shirts for going out need to be cute, but not over the top. I need to be able to wear it to a variety of locations, from semi-nice restaurants to lounges to the ever-present possibility of pool on a weekend night. And I don’t want to look schlubby, or overdressed, or like I’m desperately trying to recapture my undergrad days through bellybutton exposure.
But I HATE tunic tops. Loathe them! And I’m getting bored with tops in solids – I’d like a couple things in prints, but nothing so memorable that I couldn’t wear it more than once. I want to look cute! But not teenybopper cute! I’m soboredicouldcry by Limited and Express, but have not the budget for more than $50 or so per shirt.
Also, given that I am a BOUS (Blogger of Unusual Stature), I’d prefer the tops to not be of the sort that are supposed to end right at the waist – because even if those are technically supposed to conceal the midriff, they will not, so much, on me.
Anyone have any ideas? Where do you shop that isn’t a massive chain? How do you avoid the dreaded Dolman sleeve? Where can I find some clooooootheeessssss?
