Seeking John Galt

So, there’s a guy who falls down a hole. The walls are so steep, he can’t get out on his own.

A doctor walks by, and the man calls to him, “I’m stuck in this hole. Could you help me out?”

The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down the hole, and moves on.

A priest walks by, and the man calls to him, “Father, I’m stuck in this hole. Could you help me out?”

The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down the hole, and moves on.

A friend walks by, and the man calls to him, “Hey, buddy! I’m stuck in this hole, can you help me out?”

The friend jumps into the hole, and the man says, “What’d you do that for? Now we’re both stuck here.”

The friend says, “No, we’re not. I’ve been down here before - I know the way out.”

~ The West Wing - Season Two: “Noel”

Thanks to all of my friends who jumped into the hole with me, and helped me find my own way out - by distracting me, keeping me company, or leaving me be, as I requested. That information I was waiting for? Turned out to be a map so’s I could find my way out.

Thanks again, lovely people. I honestly don’t think I could have done it without you.

Karma:  Well, now.  You do have quite a bit on your plate, haven’t you?

DT:  So glad you noticed.  You’re not planning anything I should know about, are you?

K:  Well, you know, I was actually just about to ask you the same thing.

DT:  Waitaminute.  Aren’t you supposed to be the annoyingly omniscient and vengeful being capable of unparallelled schadenfreude?

K:  Normally I don’t act on anything unless you’ve already done it.  Fortunately for you, merely contemplating evil deeds doesn’t count - though some of those uncharitable thoughts are going to come back at you later - I’m still working out the details.

DT:  Thanks for the heads up.  Frankly, I’m too busy to get into trouble at the moment - that birthday party, Super Bowl plans, a trip to see Things One and Two - and that’s all starting after this class is over with. 

K:  And then there’s that turning thirty thing.

DT:  Yes.  And that.  In April.  I can always count on you to remember such things.

K:  Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten.  Well, I really must toddle off.

DT:  Always a pleasure, K.  Oh - before you go.  About that other thing?  Thanks.

K:  No need to thank me.  My job does work in both directions, you know.  Here - have some Nutella, too.

By a lot.  Taller, too.  By about 8″.
Had surgery a couple weeks ago - healing up nicely, but bruised and moving stiffly.  Not surprising for someone born in 1943 - also a Taurus.

I’m obviously not the milkman’s kid - height, hair, eyes, and nose come from his mother’s side of the family.  Put a picture of me now, next to her wedding photo, and it’s like I went to a costume party.

He finishes the NY Times Saturday crossword every week - usually in under ninety minutes.  He’s an engineer with an MBA.

I inherited his conflict-avoidant nature, and would probably also whistle “Danny Boy” when I sensed tension around me - if I had also inherited his ability to whistle.

We both love “The American President” - “If you were a dork, you should apologize.  Girls like that.”

If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.  This extends to applying butter to pretty much everything consumed - evenly spread to just the right thickness.

Does not need a ladder to drywall a ceiling, provided one of my cousins can hold the sheet in place while he walks around them, reaching up with the screw gun at regular intervals.  Brobdingnagian home repair, indeed.

Drinks Moosehead beer if it’s available.  I’ll have one with him this Sunday, standing in the warm sun on a mostly green lawn while he makes note of bare spots and contemplates the best fix.

Miss you, Pop, and I’ll see you Sunday.  Happy Father’s Day.

In the meantime, take care of you.

Love,

Kid #2

DT:  All right.  Where are you?  Come out, show yourself.

K:  Right here, as usual.  Looking over your shoulder.

DT:  Karma, I know you’re some sort of divine force, but must you look so smug all the time?  It’s really annoying.

K:  I’m quite sure I don’t know what you mean.

DT:  Riiight.  So anyway, about this situation I’ve got going on…

K:  Something… vexes thee? 

DT:  Okay.  First of all, the movie quotes are my thing, and it’s not nearly as cute when you do it.  Second, I just don’t get it.  What are you trying to tell me here?

K:  Maybe this is what happens when you don’t stand up for yourself enough?  Maybe, just maybe, when you let people get away with too much for too long, you forget how to insist on what’s important to you.  And then, because you didn’t insist, you have no one but yourself to blame when it doesn’t happen.  Remember that smart friend of yours?  She’s the one who pointed out that you never get more than you ask for in a negotiation.

DT:  Gotcha.  So… maybe I should try on that fabulous, confident, doesn’t-take-crap thing for a while, and see how that works?

K:  (dryly) It’s an idea.

DT:  As annoying as you are when you’re right (and smug!), I *might* owe you a thank you for this one.  Will a very recently opened jar of Nutella work?

K:  Hand it over.  I’ll be back, you know.

DT:  You know?  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Vivian Ward:  People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis:  I think you are a very bright, very special woman. 
Vivian Ward:  The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?

Melvin Udall:  You make me want to be a better man.

I’ve had some pretty absurdly awful things said to me over the years - not just in dysfunctional romantic relationships, but by people whom one would normally think would never say such things (family, co-workers, and someone I thought was a friend, to name a few).  And for a long time, Vivian was right - the bad stuff WAS easier to believe.  And a phrase like the one above?  Coming from someone I cared about?  That’ll take some time for recovery - that’s just how I’m put together, I guess.  People I care about can get to me.  I just kind of have to trust that they’ll be careful with that power.  You don’t get to speak to me that way and expect to speak to me thereafter - I don’t care what it is you think I’ve done.

But today, ”Mr. Nobody” and I were talking.  This person is (1) very much in love with someone else, (2) a guy, therefore not prone to the usual meaningless female ego-boosting mantras, and (3) possessed of a tendency to be overly honest, if there is such a thing.  Basically, the perfect person from which to hear the following:

“Of all the girls I’ve ever met, you are probably the single best combination of looks, personality, and financial success I’ve known.  You are successfull in your career, you are very smart, you are kind, caring person, and you are pretty damn self aware.”

The compliment wins, for two reasons.  First?  I know that I’m not a horrible person.   Second?  His words have the ring of truth.  They aren’t sugary, there’s no expectation that the sentence will segue into a request for a favor.  It’s a matter-of-fact statement.

And THAT, gentlemen, is how you pay a lady a compliment.