January 31, 2007

Atrophy

Posted in Present, The WTF at 8:54 am by Dagny Taggart

“Is it true that if you don’t USE it you LOSE it?”

I’m sufficiently cognizant of reality to understand that when I make a change to my life, there is an equal and opposite effect to match it.  So for every thing I take away from my life, I get something else to replace it – even if that something else isn’t exactly what I had in mind.  And of course, when I add something to my life, I give up something else.

And “anyone who says differently is selling something.”

I’ve learned that the things I’ve given up, don’t always come back to me when I want them to.  I stopped singing for a long time, and now my voice sounds like crap more often than I care to admit.  I gave up being anorexic, and now have a tough time losing weight.

Yes, I know.  Not always a bad thing, that.

There’s a part of me that’s fading away, cause of death atrophy by indifference.  I feel like I have two choices – lose this part of myself, or fight for it and create more tension.  But where do I draw the line?  To what extent am I supposed to change who I am and what I want in order to keep the peace?

It’s a really hard question, folks.  I don’t know if I can find the answer on my own.

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