March 9, 2007

Hilarious Hijinks

Posted in *cringe*, Past, The WTF at 8:02 am by Dagny Taggart

I was reading a pretty funny account of someone’s blind date with a guy who was engaged to be married in less than two months, and it reminded me of one of my more entertaining dating escapades.  At least, I think it’s entertaining.  I don’t know if Squiggy and Laverne (names changed to protect the batsh*t insane) would agree, but you really can’t make this stuff up.

Squiggy and I met up through a dating website.  He was, I think, a grad student with a full-time internship, and thus on the poor side.  I was still in law school, so I was equally bankrupt.  Thus, our first encounter was over a beverage at a local eatery.  He wasn’t remarkable, but I tend to agree to second dates unless I have a really bad feeling after the first, so we made plans to meet again.

That second evening, we were out at a bar in his neighborhood, a lovely little Greek place in Woodley Park, as I recall.  Conversation was flowing, things were going well.  I glanced at my phone and noticed that the missed call indicator was flashing – the number was one from the 202,  that I didn’t recognize.  I showed him and asked if he had called.

“Who do you know at DoJ?” he responded.

“Um.  No one, I don’t think…” I said, thinking this was out of left field.

“Well, that’s a DoJ number.  It belongs to this girl I was kind of dating.”

I highlighted the number and hit “Send”.

“Hi, this is Dagny.  Did you call me?”
“Oh.  Um, yeah, I did.  Are you with Squiggy now?”
“Well, actually, yes.”
“Well, I’m in his apartment.  I have a key.  And I saw your emails on his computer, and was wondering what was going on.”
“Um.  Well, I kind of thought we were on a date, but now I don’t know what’s going on.”

Who has conversations like this?  Seriously?

So Squiggy explains that he and Laverne had dated for a while, that it was intense, and that they had ended things a month ago, but that he hadn’t gotten the key back for his place.  He also explained that he was on Prozac, but didn’t always take it because it interfered with various… personal activities.

His impressive Tori collection notwithstanding, I decided that I was unqualified to pursue this further, not being of the batsh*t insane persuasion.

I sometimes suspect that such encounters have served to lower my standards.  I mean, people do these things, and don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.  Granted, Laverne did me a favor, but… still.  She read her (ex-?)boyrfriend’s email account and called a stranger’s cell phone to check up on him. 

I’d probably have admired them for giving it a shot anyway, if there had been the slightest recognition of the dysfunction of that relationship. But no.  That’s some people’s normal.


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