April 5, 2007

The Crazy

Posted in *cringe*, The WTF at 8:32 am by Dagny Taggart

 “I got a stage five. Virgin. Clinger.”

So the question of the day is, who is responsible for driving someone insane?*

I’ve been there – as both the insane party, and the one dating the piping hot bowl of crazy.  Neither is particularly fun.

The crazy takes two forms – the “committed relationship” crazy, and the “one-wants-more” crazy.  With “one wants more” crazy, there are ways to avoid insanity.  With “committed relationship” crazy, there’s only one thing you can do – go through the relationship’s pockets and look for loose change.  And that’s an entirely different post.

With OWM crazy, both parties can help the situation, they really can.  The Party Who Wants More can put down the Austen, Bronte, and WHMS.  Then, they can bathe, and even go outside.  Without the binoculars or telephoto lens.  Go for a run because it’s fun, and not because they’re chasing after that person who would be perfect… if they only liked PWWM back.

So, being admired and desired feels really great.  If PWWM is at all attractive and/or talented in the horizontal arts, it’s pretty tempting to play the “I’m really not looking for a relationship right now but if you’re up for it we could, you know, hang out” card.  The Desired Party is only human, and fallible, and could very well take this route.  The DP should also understand that this is what PWWM will consider an Invitation To Cling.  

Frankly, I think DP has just as much responsibility here as PWWM.  The second DP becomes aware that it might not just be a casual fling for PWWM, he/she has an obligation to cease and desist all relationship-like activities, unless he/she is willing to incur the wrath of The Crazy. 

I have no problem with the issuance of Invitations to Cling, I really don’t, because some responsibility lies with PWWM, too.  What annoys is when the DP doesn’t accept the consequences of the invitation. 

If only all of these situations ended like this:  “This girl’s fit for a strait-jacket. I mean she’s fucked three ways to the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it!” But the responsibility for remembering that they don’t lies with both parties.

*No actual humans were driven insane for the creation of this post.



  1. I laughed out loud while wincing through memories of relationships past reading this. I’ve been both ends of it too, and I applaud your honesty…and your sense of humor about the whole thing. Not to mention everyone loves a good Princess (I’m on the goon squad You ARE the goon squad) Bride reference.

    Horiziontal Arts? That’s a new one…I’m writiing it down and using it.

  2. LMNt said,

    Very well thought out post, and any chick who digs wedding crashers is pretty darn cool.

    Just so you know, though? Those arts? Not necessarily always horizontal…

  3. INPY: The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies, and the book is really great, too. I’m glad you liked my choice of euphemism 🙂

    LMNt: Wait… they *aren’t*? 😯 😉 Thanks for the compliment!

  4. I actually bought the Princess Bride book for my DP last summer. She never read it. Between you and me she wasn’t a big reader. Completely horizontal relationship. I’m SO better off now that it’s over …… christ she was hot though.

  5. HYSL: There’s something to be said for completely horizontal relationships, to be sure. But I think you’re right to conclude that you’re better off without someone who wouldn’t read TPB. 😉

  6. Wait, so which one were YOU in that relationship?

    By the way, if you’re in the south, those positions BETTER be horizontal. Everything outside of missionary is still illegal in some of those red states.

  7. HIN: I’ve been both, sad to say. Not pretty from either angle. And having gone to a VNSC (Very Nerdy Southern College), that lovely bit of trivia has been in my lexicon for some time. I appreciate the concern, though 🙂

  8. virglekent said,

    Stage five clinger can be kind of kinky if they know what their doing. Especially when it comes to the reverse spider monkey.

    Was that what you’re trying to say in this post or did I miss something.

    there was a part about being responsible, but where does that ever get you?

  9. VK: Actually, I think you just summed up the second WC quote quite nicely. 🙂

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