August 30, 2007

Why I have no game, Part 2

Posted in *cringe*, Nerdiness, The Funny, The How, The WTF at 8:25 am by Dagny Taggart

This, in case you’re curious, was originally the post that started out, “If one more person tells me I’m too nice…”

Because apparently, I am. Apparently, flirting requires a certain “edge”, and I’m just not an edgy person.

This, I think, is because I really am quite shy. I don’t feel comfortable being even slightly mean, or teasing, unless I know the person at least well enough to know that I probably can avoid their sorest points. So I try to stick to light conversation, getting to know a little more about them, until my intuition lets me know that we’ve reached that more comfortable level. Frankly, one of the reasons why I prefer not to tease, or poke fun, is that I have an uncanny ability to inadvertently pick the most sensitive subject, each and every time. So I just don’t do it.

Apparently, my intuition can just take a hike. Guys WANT us to be mean to them. Or at least, not so very nice. Because nice is boring. Nice doesn’t represent a challenge. Of course, I thought we were trying to get to know each other, not climb Kilimanjaro without oxygen. I’m just not that good at, nor do I see the point of, pretending to be a walking snark dispenser. One would hope that my reluctance to mock someone in public would be considered a good thing.

So reason #2 that I have no game, is that I’m “too nice.” Although, if one more person tells me that to my face, they may find themselves on the receiving end of a very un-snarky, un-witty, and un-flirty rude gesture.

I can’t be that nice, people. I’m from Jersey!

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7 Comments »

  1. I-66 said,

    A wise man once wrote:

    smarcasstic [adj]:
    1. possessing a sense of humor utilizing both sarcasm and smartassedness, thus making one’s self that much more attractive to I-66.

    It’s not being mean, necessarily. Not seriously mean, but ha-ha-I’m-just-kidding-and-you-know-it mean. Then again, not everyone goes for that.

  2. Well the problem here is that you *look* like an edgy person. It’s a case of mistaken identity that people feed off. I might know something about this. So like for instance if someone were to see a:

    Tall, Hot, Power Bitch…

    But were really dealing with a:

    Movie quoting, Sarcastic, Goofball =)

    So then problem’s might, may, can, will arise. It’s not a problem that’s yours though. A person’s perception of you shouldn’t dictate the final product. All you can do is project who you are. Or at least who you think you are, ehhh. That’s your game, that’s “the game”. Not that you aspire to become beyond reproach but:

    “Mastering others makes you powerful. Mastering yourself makes you invincible”

  3. Alias Faux said,

    If the worst thing that can be said about somebody is that they’re too nice, that person is probably exactly the kind of person you want in your life.

    Niceness is a GOOD thing, and don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise.

    *note, nice does not equal pushover, for the record*

  4. I-66: Well, a very wise person had a good point – but I guess I’m not always 100% comfortable that everyone will take it in the correct spirit. Ah well. πŸ™‚

    HBMS: Goofball?!? That’s Burrito Goofball to you! And you’re right – that IS usually what I think of as my “game”.

    What happens when you manage to do both? Hmmm? πŸ˜‰

    Alias Faux: Well, I’ve also been accused of being entirely too TALL. Um.

    I don’t think I’m a pushover. Hmm.

  5. vvk said,

    I think what HBMS wrote describes my situation as well. People see a big, tall, brown guy. They expect something different from what they get in me.

    *shrug*

    Dagny: Be yourself… πŸ™‚

  6. TAG said,

    I agree this is how “the rules” say the game is played. I say screw “the rules”. If you have to be someone you are not just to play by these rules then it’s time to forget these rules. Trust me when I say there are plenty of guys out here who would gladly give up “the standard rules” in favor of playing a nicer game.

    Finding those people won’t be easy. The task will take intelligence, tenacity and, perhaps, a bit of charm. I’m betting you have plenty of each.

    TAG

  7. vvk: well, that’s something I’m pretty sure I know how to do. πŸ™‚

    TAG: Well, here’s hoping there are at least a few in DC who can appreciate it!

    And, thanks for the compliments. Much appreciated! πŸ™‚


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