October 26, 2007

Breezy is a gateway drug to Nihilism

Posted in Darth Vaguer, Nerdiness, The How, The Why, The WTF at 8:32 am by Dagny Taggart

I do this a lot, actually.  I forget that there is such a thing as “too much” of a good thing.  That less really is sometimes more.  That sometimes, the effort expended on the margin is not only not helpful, but can be detrimental past a certain point on the spectrum.

It has come to my attention that militant breeziness might not be the best tactic to take if one is hoping to have a mature, adult, successful relationship.  At some point, one of you has to admit to caring whether or not you ever see the person again. 

Which, of course, is extraordinarily difficult to do while maintaining a completely nonchalant, detached attitude. 

“I suppose I might find the energy to be mildly less content if I didn’t hear from you within the next month or so… maybe.”

Doesn’t quite convey actual interest or investment, now does it?

So at what point does one have to stop being breezy, lest nihilism take hold and before long, one stops caring about very much of anything at all?

I don’t think I care to find out.

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11 Comments »

  1. Jo said,

    I think you have to figure it out together because it really sucks when one person invests a little more than the other.

  2. Virgle Kent said,

    wow, thinking, I’ll just say that and tell you this was a good post

  3. I-66 said,

    No use in putting up a front. It helps nobody.

  4. Forget the game playing, just say what you feel. Deception is something that you should reserve for your enemies.

    If you’re not willing to put yourself out there, the person will interpret your aloofness as lack of interest, not independence.

  5. Jo: It definitely does. But someone’s got to make the first move, right?

    Virgle Kent: Well, thanks. I do what I can 🙂

    I-66: Well, I used to think that it helped Dignity, but I lost that a while back, so you might be right. 😀

    HIN: I think that I’ve been misinterpreted before, actually. And that’s sad, because a few of those situations could have been a lot more fun. But at least I’m learning now, right? 🙂

  6. Lisa said,

    Yikes. Relating in that shockingly twinly kind of way. Hurricanes are terrible but there’s lots of safety in a breeze.

  7. I-66 said,

    Those who do not learn from their mistakes yadda yadda, you know what follows.

    You expend more energy pretending to be something you aren’t than you do being what you are. When you like someone, then like them. It’s terribly easy.

  8. Lisa: Yes – a light breeze is light and pleasant, but not much use if you’re going windsurfing. Or something.

    /beating analogy to death. 😀

    I-66: Well, for what it’s worth, I think there’s merit in learning how to be a better version of you – knowing when and where to say or not say things, for the convenience of others. It’s when you’re only doing it for the convenience of yourself that it becomes a bad idea, I suspect. 🙂

  9. Alias Faux said,

    A wise person once told me that if you’re not doing what’s best for you in a relationship, it only leads to resentment, and eventually, the end of the relationship.

  10. Alias Faux: O rly? 😛

  11. […] basically, right now, I’m in the mood to ignore anything I might have recently said on the subject and resume my militant breeziness.  Pride and I are so in a fight, and right now, the […]


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