November 28, 2007

Gluttony

Posted in Guilt, nutella, Seven Deadlies, The OCD, The Why, The WTF at 9:44 am by Dagny Taggart

And here it is, my eternal struggle:

So, here’s the story of Dagny Taggart’s weight struggles…

Growing up, I had a wide variety of food allergies.  Nuts, anything with citrus (including tomatoes, oranges, berries of any kind), and anything with cocoa at all (including, surprisingly, any cola product).  My food choices, they were limited.  And I’d sneak the things I wasn’t supposed to have, sometimes.  Because how fun is a childhood without peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?  I was quite sure I didn’t want to find out.

These snacks started to catch up with me a little more when I was 12 or so, and the asthma got sufficiently bad so that exercise was more or less out of the question.  I became, not to put too fine a point on it, large.  By the summer between 8th and 9th grade, I was a size 14, pushing a 16.  Which did not suit my 5’8″ frame well at ALL.  Nor was it acceptable in a town 20 minutes from 5th Avenue, where my classmates were wearing designer size 2-4 and constantly dieting.

About 2/3 of the way through my freshman year of high school, I made a number of changes and started to move around a bit more.  I lost about 40 pounds by the time school started up again, and pared off another 20-25 over the next couple of years.  I didn’t do it the right way, exactly, but the right way doesn’t matter so much when you’re 15-18 years old and growing those last two inches.

My first year of college involved a glut of diet Coke, Marlboro Lights, and that slightly painful, yet somehow comforting, constant hunger.  Half a muffin a day plus 3 or 4 Swedish Fish in the afternoon, and I was hovering around 100 lbs.  Fortunately, my friends and this guy helped me rediscover the joys of 3 am hot subs from the delis and cheese fries (with gravy, duh). 

So moderation has always been an issue for me.  I can eat an entire jar of Nutella, or bag of candy corn, or chocolate cake, or pint of ice cream, in one sitting.  To make up for such indulgences, I make sure that everything else I eat is very, very healthy, AND I go to the gym a LOT. 

But it would be so much easier if I could just have, say, one spoonful of Nutella per “consumption instance.”  Then, I might be able to sleep in an extra morning, or have a cheeseburger a little more often, without automatically calculating how many extra minutes/hours I’ll have to spend working it off. 

And don’t even get me started on Black Friday shopping sprees.  Though, I’m probably the only person who came away from that day happier with her twin-pack of 26 ounce jars of Nutella, than anything else she got that day.

40 servings * 200 calories per serving = 8,000 calories * 2 jars = 16,000 calories, = 18 hours of high-intensity cardio.

I’ll be at the gym if you need me.  😀

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13 Comments »

  1. I-66 said,

    Wait, a whole jar? By the lovin’ spoonful?

    And of all those things, the only thing that made me almost vomit is the bag of candy corn. I can’t eat 1½ candy corns without gagging.

  2. Beach Bum said,

    All of us can eat an entire pint of ice cream, right? (There’s a reason I rarely buy my favorite, Häagen-Dazs Dulce de Leche or my new favorite Sticky Toffee Pudding, because those ALWAYS last little over 10 minutes in my hands.)

    But I think you’ll really have a problem when isntead of eating “an entire jar of Nutella, or bag of candy corn, or chocolate cake, or pint of ice cream” you’re eating “an entire jar of Nutella AND a bag of candy corn AND chocolate cake AND a pint of ice cream” 🙂

    I should start going to the gym with you!! I need all the motivation (and discipline) I can get — now what gym do you go to?

  3. I-66: Oh, yes. It can be done, but only by those who have upped the dosage in a controlled environment over time. 😀

    I accept and understand that there are people who do not appreciate the magnificence that is *good* candy corn (Brach’s is not my favorite, Target is actually better). I do not, however, claim to understand the why of it all. 😉

    Beach Bum: Yes. I would soon have an endocrinologist on speed dial, were that the case.

    As for gyms, I’m a Gold’s girl, and tend to go in the wee hours of the morning. We shall communicate further… 🙂

  4. Jo said,

    I’ve always been thankful that my weaknesses are savory not sweet. But a crepe with nutella can still knock down most walls of self control. You might be surprised to hear that last time I had a crepe with nutella was probably in 2002. I think it’s time for another one.

  5. freckledk said,

    I cannot resist ice cream. It’s my kryptonite. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, til it’s gone.

    So, I never buy ice cream. Ever. You are a brave woman, with your case of Nutella. My hat’s off to you.

  6. Alias Faux said,

    5 guys, damn them to hell.

  7. Lisa said,

    Dag, my sweet, I’m going to stop leaving the daily “oh, this resonates and blah blah blah” comments and just start writing YES. Or maybe we can develop a code or something. Because if I read it here, I’ve felt it sometime in the past. Or daily. Oh, and moderation? Is so fucking tedious.

  8. Nato said,

    OK, your concern re: your weight — when you are, in fact, stunningly slender — is now a lot more understandable. I think that learning not to go whole hog on the things you love is a logical next step. If you can summon the willpower to parcel out your indulgences in tiny, reasonable packages, instead of the DENY/SPLURGE/EXERCISE cycle, I’m guessing you’ll be a lot happier.

    You may also want to find healthier alternatives to the things you love. I nosh on whole wheat graham crackers when I want cookies, or lowfat popcorn with melted Smart Balance margarine when I want something salty. So instead of Nutella, maybe a handful of hazelnuts (the good kind of fats!) and a few dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses? (Mmmm, antioxidants…)

    Considering that a Chipotle burrito, fully loaded, is 2,500 calories, I am in AWE of Nutella’s 8,000 calories o’power.

  9. […] Gluttony […]

  10. Jo: Don’t think I’m immune to the siren call of a really sharp cheddar, either. Or bleu cheese.

    And, yes – you’re long overdue. 🙂

    freckledk: Can’t… talk. Burning… calories… on… treadmill… . 😉

    Alias Faux: Don’t even get me started on their scrumdidlyumptious french fries… 😀

    Lisa: I agree about the ennui of moderation – what a stupid idea THAT is.

    If I weren’t decidedly Brobdingnagian next to your Gulliver, I’d swear we were related somehow. Karmically, perhaps. I’ll go bribe her with Nutella and ask.

    Nato: I definitely could exercise some restraint in the amounts consumed, but I discovered the hard way that if I don’t let myself have the real deal, I’ll have even MORE of the substitute.

    And 8,000 calories corresponds to the 40 servings in a 26-ounce jar. Given that the burrito is ostensibly supposed to be for one, I think Chipotle still wins. 😀

  11. vvk said,

    Didn’t you link recently to single serving sized packets of Nutella? Those seem ideal for you. 🙂

  12. mm said,

    Nutella is yummy, but peanut butter is my weakness. Peanut butter and chocolate….
    Yeah, I’ll be stopping by the grocery store after work.
    Pat yourself on the back for your dedication to working out. It may not be good to overeat, but at least you are actually putting forth the effort in burning it off and not just sitting around or throwing it up.

  13. vvk: You think I’m going to let some extra foil stand in my way? Hah! 😀

    mm: Thanks – that’s a good point. And I also try to eat really healthily otherwise. The trick is to keep that up while not using it as justification for my excesses. But the support is much appreciated! 😀


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