January 14, 2008

Your name is ___, and you used to date DF

Posted in *cringe*, The Funny, The How, The Just a Little Sad, the pretty, The Where, The Who, The WTF at 9:12 am by Dagny Taggart

I’d feel sorry for the poor guy, if he weren’t wholly responsible for what’s about to happen to him.

From my vantage point, it’s amusing.  They meet her, and are immediately smitten.  They always want more, always want to try to have as much of her as they can get.

It’s not in her nature to give them much.  She’s mastered the art of detached warmth, the ability to be perfectly nice and considerate and a really fun person to be around, without giving them a millimeter more than she’s ready to.

And gentlemen, those millimeters, worthy as they are, have to be earned

So when I heard that yet another one had gotten sufficiently frustrated to renounce his candidacy, I shook my head and smiled a bit.  I’ve seen this before, many times over.

There really should be a support group for people in his position.  He’ll need it in a few weeks, when he realizes the cost of his impatience.  By that time, at least a few more will have emerged – some who made the same mistake and are asking for a second chance, some who have just begun to realize who it is they’ve met.  She’ll be patiently explaining her terms to someone new, and he’ll be realizing that the reasons he found them difficult have little to do with her, and everything to do with his insecurity.

And then, all he’ll have to hold onto is the receipt for the cordless drill he got this particular apartment-dweller as a Christmas gift.  Seriously, dude?  At least if you’d gotten her a blender, she could’ve made margaritas. 

Your name is ____, and you used to date DF.  Registration line forms at the left.



Look – I feel like I have to step in here, because there’s a lot of stuff being pointed in the wrong direction.

I hoped that people would understand that my take on this situation was just that – my take.  What my friend might be thinking, and how she views the situation, are not represented here at ALL.  As far as I know, she hasn’t read here in some time.  She’s not here to defend herself.  So kindly back the fuck off of her, please.

If you’re going to tell someone to get over anyone, please direct such comments at me.  I’m the one who’s suggesting that he’s making a mistake, that he will likely regret taking this step after he’s had some time to realize everything that she brought to his life, even if it wasn’t exactly what he thought he wanted at first.

That’s all me.  Please respond accordingly.



  1. Alias Faux said,

    Or maybe, just maybe, DF could worry less about being detached and maintaining boundaries, and more about living, and both sides would be happier. Not saying for sure, but maybe.

  2. Beach Bum said,

    Do I know DF? I feel so outdated in the gossip!! Please share…

  3. Alias Faux: Ah. The background here is a little different than the one you reference, but I think your point is well made for a lot of other situations. 🙂

    Beach Bum: I believe you know OF her, but haven’t actually met her. 🙂

  4. Lisa said,

    Confusion abounds.

  5. carrie m said,

    i would like to be the girl a guy gets smitten with. she’s got that, just rub it in, whoever you are! 😉

  6. roissy said,

    and then she gets old and it’s game over.

    keepin’ it real.

  7. ~Justin said,

    Seriously. Holy hell. For once, I’m unequivocally on Roissy’s side. And Alias Faux, FWIW.

    DF should get over herself and just live. Otherwise, she’ll one day long for the days when X or Y or Z pined for her so… throwing caution to the wind to adore, ‘cuz now no one does… everyone having grown accustomed to her “rules” and “boundaries” as though she were a prize to be won, rather than a partner with whom to intimately experience the joys and sorrows of life.


  8. Lisa: That often seems to be the case when I’m discussing my other shoulda-been twin’s life. 😉

    Carrie m: It definitely has a downside, but I too think it would be nice to try it on for a little while. 🙂

    roissy: Fortunately, though DF graduated the same year as I did, she started college about 3 years early, meaning that she’s still smack in the middle of her 20’s. She’s got time, which may be why she’s not in a rush to “trap” a man. 😉

    Justin: I guess what I find incredibly surprising, is that all she’s doing is explaining that she likes to take things slowly. This isn’t that unusual, except – maybe because she’s female, men expect her to be running towards the altar? She’s not mean to them – quite the opposite. She treats them well and with warmth, spends time with them. She just wants to really get to know someone so she can be sure about her feelings, before taking major relationship steps.

    I fail to see what’s so wrong with making sure you mean the words before you say them. And I’ll defend her right to achieve that certainty, to the last.

  9. D-Man said,

    I was in a similar circumstance and my miss DF just wouldn’t get off the fence! So I had to move on, I think people have it right just go for it, if it flames up and dies move on if not maybe you got something.

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