January 28, 2009

Maybe you should try speaking English.

Posted in Darth Vaguer, Oubliette, The Happy, The WTF at 12:00 pm by Dagny Taggart

Time:  Halloween, 2008
Place:  House Party

So, for those of you who know me, it may amuse you to learn that this was the year where I decided I was going to buy one of those costumes.  The ones that are most decidedly not designed with warmth or comfort in mind.

Being me, I couldn’t just go as a mouse, or a kitty-cat, or even Tinkerbell.  No, I needed to find something a little more… me.

OF course, I was slightly concerned about looking divine in said ensemble (I believe that in my case, spandex is a privilege, not a right).  So I didn’t eat a whole heck of a lot that day.

Which made playing beer pong with Captain Morgan a somewhat questionable decision.  But I was pretty much fine after that.  And the rum and diet I had when we got to the party was perfectly nice, as well.  It was… the blueberry martini.  A one part vodka to one part blueberry juice ratio, as far as I could tell, it went down quickly. 

It was when I realized mid-conversation that what had just come out of my mouth in no way matched what I was trying to say, that I had entirely too much to drink.  And it was when another guest suggested that I started speaking English, that my suspicions were confirmed.  I was drunk.  More drunk than I’ve been in a very, very long time.  So, I promptly shut up and continued the rest of my evening in the company of friends who have thus far been far too kind to mock me… at least to my face.

Speaking English definitely has its benefits.  Especially when the costumes come off.



  1. Lisa said,

    Yi – ikes. Just reading the list of drinks makes me a little drunk and queasy. And more interesting than not being able to speak, how did you keep your balance with arms tied?

  2. I-66 said,

    Keep her balance? How did she play beer pong?!

  3. Hammer said,

    “Poorly” would be my guess.

  4. Lisa: The 5″ platform knee-high boots helped. I tend to maneuver best in heels, for some reason…

    I-66: My arms were unbound for the duration of the game. Thereafter, drinks were generally kept in the crook of my arm with a long straw handy.

    Hammer: Actually, we won. Which may be the only reason I left the party with my dignity largely intact. Thank heaven for small favors…


  5. Beach Bum said,

    My best friend, also a Brazilian, got really really drunk one NYE when she lived here, and suddenly, mid-conversation, she burst into tears and said “I don’t know what language I’m speaking”

    It’s one of my favorite stories.

  6. vvk said,

    One of these days, I need to witness beer pong being played. The fact that I’ve never seen it makes me feel old.

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