March 3, 2009

Sometimes

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:46 am by Dagny Taggart

retire54

Note – this image was purloined from a now-defunct blog by the name of Moral Turpitude.  I have neither the skill nor the patience to be this artistic.

Sometimes, you drink.  Sometimes, you get drunk.

Last Friday, I had a bit of a meltdown.  It wasn’t pretty, nor entirely unexpected.  But sometimes, these little setbacks are just what we need to take a giant step forward.

I may have mentioned this before, but the best piece of wisdom I have ever received is this:

“[T]rust is not about the other person, it’s about you. Trust is sort of about believing that they’ll do the right thing, but it’s more about believing that you’ll be okay even if they don’t.” ~ A. Faux

Anxiety and its attendant meltdowns aren’t really understood by those who don’t experience them.  Anxiety, which sometimes (as it did Friday) shows up in Existential Crisis’ wardrobe, has everything to do with waiting for things to fall apart – including, and especially, oneself.  Anxiety, in my (amateur, speculative) opinion, is mostly about not trusting oneself to be okay.

So.  I talked to a friend, which distracted me long enough to help me get a grip.  And then, I tried something that’s worked out for me a few times now.

I thought about how the person I’d like to be would handle this situation, and I did just that.  And I’m better.  I feel… healed, somehow*. 

Every one of these existential battles that I win, makes it easier to take on the next. 

/takes a sip

*and apparently, quotable.  Thanks, Express!
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9 Comments »

  1. Lisa said,

    Oh, sweetheart. Hugs, hugs, and more big hugs to you.

  2. Beach Bum said,

    I know your words of wisdom helped me when I was doubting myself. Glad someone was able to help you too.

    See you in a couple of weeks at the annual St. Patty’s event?

  3. Alias Faux said,

    Well, there it is. My life has not been a complete waste:)

  4. Lisa: Thank you! Hugs always help.

    Beach Bum: Glad I was helpful. And yes, it’s good to have Persons of Encouraging Dispositions around for such emergencies.

    Alias Faux: Between this and the blackmail material, I’d say you’ve accomplished a few things. 😉

  5. Hammer said,

    I asked the gas pump about you today. After a lengthy pause, it said that Advil was on sale but Nutella would never be discounted in our miserably short human lives. Still, I take this as a net positive.

    The gas pump is wise, but it cops an attitude sometimes.

  6. Hammer: Hm. I wonder if I might know someone else who has been filling your gas pump with ideas.

    But then, I think I’m okay with maintaining the integrity of the Nutella pricing structure. Perhaps your gas pump is on to something. 🙂

  7. LiLu said,

    HUUUUUUUGE e-hug

    This:

    “But sometimes, these little setbacks are just what we need to take a giant step forward.”

    is so unbelievably true. Glad you’re getting through it, love!

  8. LiLu: Thanks so much! Of course, when I wrote it, I was actually thinking of a very funny scene from Real Genius.

    But that doesn’t make it any less true. 🙂

  9. Brian said,

    “… That’s the window; that’s the door; that’s the haaaaaaaaaallllllllll…”

    I think that your line about anxiety is every bit as good as AFaux’s line about trust. I’m just saying.

    I also send virtual hugs. And a vote for Queen of the Winter Carinval.


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