March 4, 2009
How To Provoke Me into a State of Annoyance that is Amusing to Behold.
I used to claim that my personal version of hell was being locked in a room filled with barking dogs and small children, while Celine Dion, Rod Stewart, Gloria Estefan, and Natalie Merchant played in an endless loop.
For a long time, that went unchanged, save for the addition of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and most of Nickelback’s catalogue to the soundtrack.
Other things that really bother me:
1) Dirty dishes in the sink overnight.
2) People who position themselves so as to take up more than one seat on public transportation (I’m looking at you, Men in Overcoats Who Sit With Legs Open).
3) Slow walkers who take up entirely too much sidewalk.
4) Misspelling/mispronunciation/misuse of the following: Per se, Barnes and Noble, fringe benefits, supposedly, fazed/phased. I’m sure there are more, but that last one can throw me into such a murderous rage that it has blocked all else from my brain. I’ll need a moment.
. . .
5) Use of the phrase “bridge and tunnel crowd” or variants on the same to apply to anyone other than those commuting into New York City. Try something original, people. That one is already taken, and only accurate in a few places.
6) Superiority complexes, including my occasionally-manifested own.
7) The fact that there’s just no good place to put your extra arm, when ensconced in bed with a significant other. I need this.
8) Squeaky ellipticals, and the people who use them anyway.
10) Hypocrisy, and Anonymous. These two often go hand in hand.