March 12, 2009
TMI Thursday: Happy Easter!
Ah, for today’s TMI:
To bring everyone up to speed:
I was engaged for a little while in college, to a guy (who we’ll call Snoopy) who owned a grape purple Phoenix Suns sweatsuit (hooded sweatshirt AND sweatpants with the logo on them) and a black Phoenix Suns Starter jacket. It was not uncommon for him to wear all three of these items at the same time. In public.
The remaining details of that relationship could likely make their own TMI, but a little digging can produce those for you. Today is actually about someone else.
Snoopy’s family lived about ninety minutes from campus. I went to a state school that didn’t acknowledge religious holidays like Easter with pleasant things like long weekends, and since my family was a day’s drive away, to the prospective in-laws’ place we went. Snoopy’s aunt, uncle, and two cousins were there, as well. His mom had set up a buffet dinner on their kitchen island, and we all circled around it in our Easter finery – I was wearing my favorite adorable sundress – a flowy, empire-waisted coral number with a large floral print, that came to a couple inches above my knees. At 5’11”, that meant that about 80% of my thighs were still covered.
The back of the sundress was apparently too long for Snoopy’s uncle, who was directly behind me in line. He lifted the back of it up just enough to pinch my posterior. I was so shocked, I – accidentally, of course – stepped backward, my heel digging into Uncle’s foot. When he exclaimed in pain, I turned around and apologized, saying (loudly), “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just so startled when your hand slipped up my skirt, I stumbled.” His wife, in line right behind him, pretended not to hear – impressive, as I used my Jersey voice.
Uncle muttered something about having tripped, and being sorry. And the rest of the family moved on as though nothing happened*… until Uncle & Co. were getting ready to leave. As she turned to walk towards their car, Aunt said, to Prospective Mother-in-Law, “She seems sweet, but she really shouldn’t dress like a streetwalker if she doesn’t want the attention.”*
Good times, good times.