March 24, 2009

A conversation with a hypothetical

Posted in Nerdiness, The Gnomes at 12:14 pm by Dagny Taggart

DT:  Um, hi.  So…. we need to talk.

Hypothetical-Male-With-Whom-I’ve-Had-Relations (HMWWIHR):  Um, well… okay.  What’s on your mind?

DT:  Well, here goes:  I’m pregnant.

HMWWIHR:  But… We were careful!  And I know there was that time it broke, but… I thought you said you were on the pill?

DT:  Well, yeah.  About that.  The Cadbury eggs, you see.

HMWWIHR:  Pardon?!?!!!

DT:  You can’t very well expect me to knowingly enter a CVS to pick up my prescription when there are CADBURY EGGS inside, can you?  I’d be completely undone!!!  

HMWWIHR:  I’m hallucinating.  That’s what this is.  You’re saying that you didn’t pick up or take your pill because of the proximity to Cadbury EGGS?!?!!

DT:  Precisely.  I knew you’d understand!

HMWWIHR:  Your devotion to your diet is… insane.

DT:  Thanks.  I just try to stay away from temptation.  They put them right in front of the store!  What was I supposed to do?

HMWWIHR: … . One of us should be committed.  Either me, for believing that this is actually happening, or you, for a list of reasons that might take weeks to enumerate.


Note to my wee handful of devoted readers:  I am not, nor have I ever been, with child.  I am not advocating skipping medication because of its proximity to delicious, delicious Cadbury eggs.  Rather, I would advocate getting such medications delivered directly to your home, so that the decadent confections never come between you and your contraception.
P.S.  If anyone reading this is possibly a parent of mine, of course I’m not with child – there’s only one Immaculate Conception, right???  🙂 

1 Comment »

  1. AliasFaux said,

    See, I’m lucky, because there is honestly nothing on this planet less appealing to me than cadbury cream eggs.

    Honestly, the thought makes me ill.

    Then again, my weakness was on the front page of the post this morning, threatening to kill me early.

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