March 26, 2009

TMI Thursday: Revenge

Posted in *cringe* at 7:50 am by Dagny Taggart

It’s that time!

Please understand that I wasn’t even thinking of revenge at this point.  Sometimes, you just get to a point where you accept that someone is a horrible person, and is going to be horrible to you.  I had gotten to that point, and accepted my fate.  I was firmly ensconced in the Borough of Resignation, and vengeance wasn’t even a blip on the radar.

I don’t know my cousin’s wife very well, and she doesn’t know me.  She seems to think of me as an intellectual snob who’s had a lot handed to her, which might even be true, to a degree.  That said, I’ve never been rude to her, and I’ve never been cruel.  And she’s never really made any attempt to get to know me, at all.  So it was with repeated surprise and hurt that I faced Patty’s constant attempts to mock and belittle me in front of my family.  At every function, every opportunity.  I don’t know where, or why, she bothered to find the time.

As I zested and juiced dozens of limes in preparation for the pitchers of mojitos Sibling wanted to serve at our annual family reunion, I grumbled about the ache in my arm and how much easier it would have been to just use bottled juice.  I whinged about the muddling process, and when it came time to squeeze even MORE limes for YET ANOTHER pitcher, I nearly lost my head.  It didn’t help that I’d seen Patty down at least two drinks and start on a third before I’d even had one – and I was sure I’d need it if she lobbed even one more barb in my direction.

But miraculously, Patty disappeared from the barbeque for a period of time, leaving me free to enjoy the company of the rest of my family for a while, despite the strange noises we assumed were coming from a neighbor’s dog.  When she returned, she walked into the house looking a trifle pale.  Because, you see, she’d had a bit too much to drink.  And, you see, she’d thrown up in the storm drain.  In front of my sister’s house.  During a family reunion, to which she’d brought their two sons.

Needless to say, she’s been considerably subdued, since.  Revenge is apparently a drink best served cold.



  1. LiLu said,

    Karmic retribution is truly delicious, no?

  2. f.B said,

    Everything comes full circle if you wait long enough.

  3. Kate said,

    She was due for a bit of humility, ha! I just found your blog. Love it! I used to watch Pinky and the Brain all the time: )

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