April 2, 2009

TMI Thursday: The Diner

Posted in *cringe* at 7:16 am by Dagny Taggart

Because oversharing is fun, we have another installment of TMI Thursday!

As you may have gathered, I am from New Jersey.  The Land of Milk and Honey.  Home to more diners per capita than any other state.  And like so many other Jersey girls, I had one that I frequented with some regularity as soon as my friends and I could procure or provide rides.

I’ve also mentioned having allergies, I think.  What I might not have mentioned was that I went for injections on a regular basis from the time I was two, until I graduated high school.  These injections, one in each arm, were significantly responsible for my well-defined triceps – my arms would swell for a day or so after each visit.

So, it was late in the spring of my senior year, after my prom date had given me my first cigarette.  I’d just driven from the allergist directly to the diner to meet up with a group of friends, most of whom were really into music and alternative recreation, and all of whom had a couple of good reasons to sit in the smoking section.  To this group, I was something of an anomaly – a nonjudgmental straight arrow.  But when R heard I’d had a cigarette, she demanded to witness it for herself.

So I lit up, took a few puffs, and picked at the communal plate of cheese fries (with gravy).  I tried to pay attention to the conversation, but was too unfamiliar with the intricacies of Pink Floyd and a little concerned with the tingly numbness that was taking over my hands and lips.

I was, apparently, pale bordering on grey.  Fortunately, my late arrival had secured me a seat at the end of the booth, so when I said I was going to splash some water on my face, it was easy for me to get up.  Or should have been, but a friend had to grab my arm to steady me.  As his thumb pressed into my tricep, I realized just how stupid I’d been.  An hour prior, I’d been injected with approximately 13 substances my body found objectionable.  Then I’d had a cigarette, and then attempted to consume cheese fries (which, while delicious, may not have contained a single natural ingredient).  Given the number of toxins present, something had to go.

Luckily, I made it to the bathroom before the fries made it out.  And my friends were cool enough to stop laughing before I made it back to the table.

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9 Comments »

  1. LiLu said,

    And now I am picturing cheese fries in reverse.

    And I am putting DOWN my bagel.

    Happy TMIT!

  2. justjp said,

    A sad day for cheese fries everywhere.

  3. AliasFaux said,

    I will send this to my brother. He once almost got into a gang fight with some self professed Bloods on the streets of Baltimore over cheesefries.

  4. LiLu: Oops! Didn’t mean to ruin your breakfast. But happy TMIT! 🙂

    justjp: Indeed. A sadder day for the cheese fries consumder, too.

    Alias Faux: You know, cheese fries might just be tasty enough to warrant a gang fight. Though, I’m not sure one can find the real deal in Baltimore…

  5. vvk said,

    I’ve never understood some people’s desire to put gravy on everything… cheese fries with gravy?!?! I just don’t get it.

    Anyways, happy Thursday.

  6. Lisa said,

    Oh, lovey. Painful and gross. What a combo.

  7. f.B said,

    Jersey! Wait, I got carried away..

    Right, diners! No..

    I’m glad I got here just before dinner.

  8. vvk: You know, cheese fries are one of maybe two things on which I like gravy. The other being pork/turkey (which count as one because I usually enjoy them plain, and only employ gravy on occasion).

    Lisa: Fortunately, I was the only one who was grossed out at the time. But yeah, my arms, stomach, and head hurt through the next day. Ugh!

    f.B.: Well, in my humble opinion, both Jersey and diners are worthy of exclamation points. I hope I didn’t ruin your dinner, though…

  9. […] Dagny Taggart’s TMI Thursday: The Diner […]


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