June 4, 2009

Things I can do now…

Posted in Present, Project: Fail, RHoNJ, The Gnomes, The Happy, The Who, The WTF at 8:56 am by Dagny Taggart

…that I couldn’t before:

1)  Start a load of laundry after 8:00 pm.  Thank you, 24-hour laundry room.

2)  Run the dishwasher.  Because I have one, now.

3)  Walk around my bed without tripping over something.

4)  Change the channel to watch RHoNJ without first moving boxes from in front of the cable box.

So, yeah.  Okay, Jacqueline.  I actually have a smidgen more respect for you than I did before – when you saw what was in the book, you actually had the decency to talk to Danielle about it.  Though… what’s up with the airtime for your fertility doctor? 

Actually, I’m going to shut up about that.  You might actually be providing comfort for other people going through similar things.

Theresa, I think that anyone who spends more than 5 minutes with your daughter is going to see that she is eager to garner all of this attention on her own, and you’re just trying to be a responsible facilitator.  What I do have an issue with, is your pretending to be Danielle’s friend, and then doing nothing but talking behind her back the whole time, not giving her a chance to talk to you about it directly.  And if any of that animosity has anything to do with her calling your husband out on his homophobic comments, then, to borrow a phrase, “Apologies are in order,” and it would behoove you to start composing one.

Also, every time I see you, I marvel at the magical transformation from your former Dee Snyder tresses to the magical curls of today.  Seriously, you have some great hair.

People don’t get Lyme’s disease from Germany.  People get Lyme’s disease from ticks and maybe some other bitey bugs that feed on mice and deer and whatnot before biting humans.  However, your concern for your daughter’s well-being is really touching, Dina, and makes it more clear to me that you’re not spending all of your time thinking of ways to ruin Danielle.  Though I wouldn’t be surprised if you were somewhat happy/satisfied that all of this was coming out, now.

Caroline, you’ve consistently said and done things that make me feel you’re the most normal one of the group.  However, it might not be a bad idea to dial the protective lioness thing down, just a little bit.  Your son is clearly more than capable of handling himself, even with a woman who seems as aggressive as Danielle.

Danielle, Danielle.  When you sign up for a reality show, it might not be a bad idea to get books like this out and into the open.  If you had brought it up and started the dialogue, it would have been a non-issue from the beginning.  And it’s fine to say that you made some mistakes, you’d rather not get into the details, and that what the book talks about has no bearing on your current or recent life.  But given the allegations, the first thing you should have done is reassure your friends that they weren’t in any danger.  It’s not on them to blindly trust you, when it certainly seems as though you’ve been holding back about something important.

And also, even if you’re getting really enthusiastic about a dance lesson with a professional instructor, keeping a sense of propriety about how you dance with the sons of your contemporaries is probably not a bad idea.

It was very, very cool of you to make it clear that you were offended by the homophobic comments.  If only you could exercise the same strength of conviction and high moral standards when it came to other areas of your life…



  1. Brian said,

    Congrats on the new things you can do. It sounds like you’re farther along in the unpacking than I am. I refer to my living room as Mt. Storagebin, and it will likely stand majestically for a little while yet.

  2. Lisa said,

    Oh, good. I’m glad. You sound so much more YOU today.

  3. Brian: Thanks! I wish you luck with Mt. Storagebin – hopefully, you were better than I was at labeling boxes of essentials and things you’ll need in the near future.

    Lisa: I do, don’t I? It’s pretty nice.

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