July 9, 2009

In which I totally earn my place in Hell

Posted in *cringe*, Guilt, Oubliette, Project: Fail, The WTF at 9:52 am by Dagny Taggart

I have an assignment that I really, really don’t like.  I’m just tired of working on it, and can find a billion reasons to refrain from doing so. 

Like Facebook.  Actually logging in and looking around, reading people’s updates and laughing at amusing wall posts.  Looking at the photos people post, that get highlighted in the bar to the side.

Every once in a while, those photos might scare you.  Like, say you went on a few dates with someone and decided you were better off as friends, but felt bad about it because there was nothing concretely wrong with the guy, you just didn’t quite feel a connection.  He was smart, reasonably good-looking, maybe slightly on the young side, but not overtly immature.  Something, just a little something, was just enough off so that you determined it would be better if the two of you went your separate ways.

And then, years later.  I can’t even place exactly how many years later.  But years.  You see his facebook page, and he’s become your anti-type.  You don’t know how it happened, but it seems that you can no longer recall why it is you ever even contemplated going on a third date with this person.  And it (possibly among other things) makes you seriously question the brand of judgment you were using that year, and consider filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau against the manufacturer.

And then (and this is the worst part) it hits you.  

There are most likely personages who have had the exact same thoughts about me.  Who is the bullet dodged?  I am the bullet dodged!

Karma’s turnaround time for these projects is getting pretty quick.  

Now how can I file a complaint against Karma for doing her job too well?

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12 Comments »

  1. Lemmonex said,

    Do not take this mental path. it is good for no one. The problem was always them, not you! You are perfect.

    • An excellent headspace to inhabit, even if it’s just for brief respites from reality. 😉

  2. Brian said,

    I can totally imagine the relief that one would feel at the realization:

    “Wow, thank [insert preferred deity, supernatural influencer or airborne pasta being] that I got away from that girl. Man, what a relief. I mean, look at her: cute, whip-smart, funny as hell, quotes Real Genius at the drop of a hat, plays a mean game of pool, and will happily make sausage and plethoras of cookies from scratch. What a nightmare. I’m so glad I got away from that.”

    Yeah. Dodged bullet. That’s you.

    • As much as I truly appreciate the compliments, I know there are those who are, in fact, thankful that things didn’t go farther than they did.

      Diabetic vegetarians, mostly.

  3. Don’t listen to Lem.

    Joseph Campbell said that your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself. It’s always you and that’s a good thing. YOu can fix yourself, you can’t fix others.

    You chose those losers and they were the wrong people. So what? Yeah, they think the same about you…again, so what? The fact that people so flawed, find you lacking is no great loss. If they thought you were perfect for them, then you should be concerned.

    • Bravo! Fixing people is an unprofitable venture, most assuredly. Also, I very much enjoyed your last sentence.

  4. Jen said,

    The fact that you can’t be everyone’s soul mate every single time is not a personal failing. There are people you are compatible with, and people you just….aren’t. There are people who find you compatible with them, and people who don’t.

    And THANK GOD for that – could you imagine a world in which every single guy you ever dated, no matter how foul, idiotic or insane, forever thought that you were “the one”? How ridiculously inconvenient that would become!

    • I have a friend who is plagued with a near 90% rate of attraction on the part of heterosexual men she encounters. It does seem to be most inconvenient at times.

      The personal failing I was chastising myself for, though, was really that I’d have such uncharitable thoughts about someone who never really did anything wrong. I just kind of wish that I could refrain from thinking such things more often.

  5. Lisa said,

    You know, I think it’s true – some periods of your life, you really are the bullet dodged. It’s all time and place and who you are at the time and where you are in figuring out your own self and sorting out pieces of crazy. I think back to some of my really difficult, crazy periods, and feel bad for the guys I dated then. I’ve even apologized to one very serious boyfriend who really, really loved me, and who I actually really loved back. I was just a bullet best dodged back then.

    • It’s true, and I think it happens to everyone, which makes it simply a normal part of the human experience. That doesn’t make it easier to acknowledge, though I think acknowledging it is by far the more useful path to take.

  6. vvk said,

    A wise person once told me not to be to hard on myself about my thoughts. I should judge myself the same way I judge other people, by my actions. Everyone has thoughts they wish they hadn’t had… it’s what thoughts they act on is what really matters.

    Personally, I’m not terribly good at implementing this advice… but I still think it’s good advice.

    • That’s a good point, too. And I’ve wondered about that – if I should go easier on myself, because I rarely let my actions reflect such thoughts, and generally chastise myself on the occasions when they do.

      But then I wonder if maybe challenging my thoughts isn’t the best way to improve as a person.


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