December 3, 2009

Eggnog is my Candy Corn

Posted in The Round, The WTF at 8:53 am by Dagny Taggart

It sits there, perhaps a hundred yards away, in one-quart containers.  Several different brands, some claiming some New! variation on the traditional flavoring and spices.  Some have a decidedly chemical aftertaste, some are flecked with bits of genuine vanilla.  And they all* call to me, for reasons passing understanding.

Because eggnog typically has less flavor than melted vanilla ice cream.  The fat content is such that one can barely taste anything beyond sugar and cream.  And yet, I find myself drawn to it, tempted.  I look over longingly…

And at some point, I will buy a quart, and I will drink it, likely over a period of 3-4 days.  And about halfway through that carton, I will wonder why it is that I’m drinking it, much the same way as my fabulous former roommate would ask himself, out loud, “Why am I eating this?!?” with each handful of candy corn**.

*Even though it’s slightly chemically, the Southern Comfort eggnog calls to me more than others, usually, because I do like me some Southern Comfort, and I like to support the manufacturers of my favorite liquors.

**Note, I have no problems justifying candy corn consumption.  I eat candy corn because I find it to be a delicious and perfectly textured (when fresh) medium by which to ingest honey and sugar in their perfect proportioned goodness.

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2 Comments »

  1. AliasFaux said,

    Candy Corn (along with circus peanuts) are the inbred cousins of the candy world.

    I cannot for the life of me understand how either ever got popular. Candy Corn tastes like flavored wax, and Circus Peanuts are almost certainly made from insulation.

  2. Alias Faux: But the question of the hour, is how do you feel about eggnog?

    Also, I have never had a circus peanut. I am suspicious of their coating, which is neither natural, NOR the approved unnaturalness that is Dorito orange.


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