January 20, 2010


Posted in *cringe*, I need a helmet, Project: Fail, The Round at 9:23 am by Dagny Taggart

I head for places snowy and pointy today, with a bundle of clothes I wouldn’t normally wear and a tiny bit of trepidation.

It’s my fifth time, EVER.

And don’t even TRY to talk me into that snowboarding crap.  While it should, theoretically, be easier to get my legs to do what I want them to do when they are ATTACHED to the SAME BOARD, *I* would undoubtedly be the person who attaches wrong.  People have been skiing for a long time, and I’m a lot more comfortable with the prospect of impalement than I am with the prospect of being trapped in a pretzel-like shape for hours because I couldn’t unhook my feet.  So.

I’ll be doing something that might, by the end of the trip, resemble skiing.  Up until that point, I’ll be pizza wedging and practicing my parallel stops on the bunny slope, and panicking mightily when I’m on an actual slope and there are people in front of me and OH GOD I need to SLOW DOWN or else I will impale THEM.

And it will be glorious.

Also, did you know that the lodges have hot chocolate?  And that you can get them to put alcohol in it?

Yep.  Glorious.

I might post, if, say, I totally chicken out and wind up sitting in the aforementioned lodge drinking adult hot chocolate and playing with my iPhone.  If not, I’ve either determined that I will become a winter goddess and am humiliating myself on the slopes, or I’ve impaled myself on my own ski*.


*Yes, I realize that those two things are not necessarily exclusive of one another.


1 Comment »

  1. Lemon Gloria said,

    No to self-impalement on skis! Yes to hot chocolate with liquor! Yesyesyes to lots of winter fun! Have a great time!

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