March 4, 2010

Embracing it

Posted in Nerdiness, Past, Present, Project: Fail, The Happy, The How at 9:08 am by Dagny Taggart

You know, I remember thinking, after my sister had been a litigator for a while, that she was a lot less nice than she used to be.

I didn’t think it was a bad thing, though.  Just… that she was a lot more assertive, willing to say she didn’t like something.  Willing to not go along, even if it meant incidentally hurting someone’s feelings.

Though, that didn’t prevent me from dropping my jaw, just a little, when she mentioned she’d been listening to Korn while working out, lately.  I wasn’t aware she knew that anything harder than Regina Spektor existed.  This is a most entertaining development.

Anyway, so I noticed it.  And I attributed it to her job, mostly, since she was a litigator.  And she did na lot of defense work, which means you’re often dealing with the kind of person who pisses other people off,  and brownfields litigation and oh, yeah, basically took over the stateside operations of a multinational corporation for a while.  So I figured the job had toughened her up.

But lately, I’ve been noticing a bit of it in myself.  And I have to say, caring more about what I actually think and want than I do about what anyone else thinks and wants – having the courage to own those preferences and voice them?  Is SO MUCH FUN.

Maybe this is what they meant by that confidence you get in your thirties, I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just that it’s getting close to spring, and I can see hints of the sun when I leave for work in the morning. And I was about to type that I wish I’d figured this out sooner.

But I think that I’m a lot closer to having a balance that I’m comfortable with now, than I would have if that had been the case.  I know what I want, and I’m willing to fight for it if I have to… but I think I’m a lot less likely to incur extraneous casualties than I would have if I’d found this assertiveness five, even two years ago.

Seriously, though.




  1. Lemon Gloria said,

    I loved reading this. It makes me Very Happy. I’m going to guess it’s attributable to a number of things – 30’s confidence, hard work on your part, being in a great place in life, and just generally realizing what an amazing human being you are.

  2. Alias Faux said,

    I know what you mean.

    I’m still pretty conflict averse, but I’m starting to reach the point where I just don’t give a f.

    In my case, it’s because I’m realizing that life actually is pretty short, and why spend this short life taking crap off of other people?

  3. in my world we call it “asking for the whipped cream” …from back when i wouldnt even ask the barista to put the whipped cream on my latte if she forgot… and youre right…… and latte IS better with whipped cream!
    good for you…welcome to the whipped cream club!

  4. vvk said,

    Yippy… it’s so worth it… except for my opinion, everyone should always care about my opinions about anything and everything. 😛

    Seriously though, in some aspects of my life I’ve finally gotten pretty good at this (mainly dealing with my family)… in others I’m working on it and making decent progress, but I’m not where I want to be yet.

    Congrats. 🙂

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