April 7, 2010

How do YOU go up the stairs?

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:36 am by Dagny Taggart

Last night, I was in a very bad place with respect to my legs.

I’d just finished a reasonably satisfying stint on the elliptical, with a side of abs, and made it home to my annual birthday present to myself – my birthday dress.  It had arrived via UPS, and was tried on as soon as I’d emerged from the shower.  And it fit!

Except that it’s a SHORT dress, and I’ve always wanted to look at myself in the mirror while wearing a short dress, and see the kind of legs one sees on the person wearing the dress in the catalog.  And that’s just not going to happen, lengthy inseam notwithstanding.  Because the kind of legs one sees on the person wearing the dress in the catalog are apparently not descended from Dutch dairymen & Polish farmers, and don’t belong to a body that is decidedly more pear than willow.

Most of the time, I talk myself out of these moods by reminding myself that legs that can regularly pull off 6.23 miles on the trail are something to be proud of.  I DO things with these legs, and that is reflected in their appearance, to an extent.  But last night, for about 15 seconds, I fantasized about going all Heidi Montag on them, just to be willowy for even a little while.

And then, this morning, I had an appointment with Trainer.  And Trainer likes to make me do things that, as a non-athlete, make me nervous.  If you’ve never really played a sport, you’re going to be a little uncertain when it comes to jumping on or over things with hard, sharp, pointy edges.  And we do a lot of that.

But today… oh.  Today, he had a special surprise for me.  Because we were playing with the stairs!  And not just running down, then jumping up every step.  Oh, no.  Today, we were going to run down them… then come back up BACKWARDS and UPSIDE DOWN.  Using our ARMS.

I can’t raise my arms above my head.  Also, my elbows are skinned.  And, I will not take my legs for granted again, because they are GOOD at things like stairs.

I love my legs.  Love.  Them.

ETA:  This:

This is what I was doing.

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5 Comments »

  1. Lemon Gloria said,

    What?!?! I am so glad your trainer is YOURS and not mine. Because what?!! What what what with the stairs upside down backwards with arms? What kind of batshit crazery is this?

  2. Lemon Gloria: I know! Sibling Extraordinaire said the same thing. It was really, really hard, especially because I’m tall and have big awkward feet that don’t fit anywhere, and am a klutz.

    I also think he’ll make me do it again.

  3. Lemon Gloria said,

    I love the drawing! Now I kind of want to try this…but I am scared!

  4. Alias Faux said,

    LOL!!!@ the facial expression!!!

  5. Lemon Gloria: Based on how much MORE my arms hurt today, I’m a bit apprehensive about trying it again, too. However, given the likelihood of Trainer making me do it again, and thus the likelihood of public humiliation, I suspect I will give it a try.

    Alias Faux: Undoubtedly, that’s the most accurate part of the drawing. 😉


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