Rules of Engagement

April 18, 2007

Rules of Engagement

I was engaged when I was in college.  Whirlwind romance, yadda yadda yadda.  Because we (stupidly) got engaged so shortly after we met, our friends were pretty much the same group of people, and a big part of our social life centered around his fraternity.

Our sophomore year, he cheated* on me.  Things went to hell in a handbasket, and I broke up with him.  We agreed to try to be friends, since we couldn’t really split up the group.  Obviously, the girls were more sympathetic to me, the guys to him.  Still, I attended parties, with the understanding that I wouldn’t blatantly flirt/hit on anyone while I was there, out of respect and sensitivity.  I didn’t. 

But someone said I had.  Someone told the ex that I had been flirting with another guy all night, that I had invited someone back to my room.  A few minutes later, the president of the fraternity (whose girlfriend I was friends with) and another brother (whose girlfriend I was living with) asked me to leave the house.  I did. Publicly and humiliated, stunned, a little drunk, not entirely sure what had just happened. 

My girls came with me, including the abovementioned girlfriends.  They walked out, helped me home, got me water, and sat with me, handing me tissues.  It was awful.  I drunk dialed my parents, for crying out loud.

But that was then.  I’m not that girl anymore.  I know who I am, and what I’m doing, and anyone who has questions about either of those can come to me.  Anyone who chooses to listen to rumor instead?  Has only themselves to blame when they wind up doing things of which they shouldn’t be proud.

*His version of events might be slightly different.  And no, we weren’t “on a break”.

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