January 26, 2008
The one who tracks the dates, yo. Some of them are easy, some of them are hard. This one? Easy enough, as all I had to do was sniff through the archives to confirm my suspicions. And to visit an online dictionary to ease my fears – Blogiversary is still not a real word. Phew!
I’ve been using this space and this alias for about a year – and I swear, it is not now, nor has it ever been, my intent to bore anyone. Especially not to tears – stop crying, K!
So what I’d like to do today, is thank those I read for inspiring me along the way. Without further ado, Dagny’s Allstars:
Ms. Jordan Baker makes me laugh. Frequently.
When my sister shared her very, very new and wonderful news, I passed along some of Dooce’s wisdom.
I learned the LMNts of finding a date in the blogger community!
I’ve been following She Walks for some time now – this is just one of many reasons why.
Beach Bum joined the community and provided some invaluable methods for
pest unwanted suitor control…
If anyone could pull of an orange mustache, I’m sure Lemon Gloria could. Have I also mentioned I kind of wish we’d met ages ago?
The invariable well-dressed Virgle Kent provided the guy’s perspective on honest communication, and inspires me to even more respect for guys who are honest, even when they say things I don’t want to hear.
Back to the inimitable Lemon Gloria for words of wisdom – it should surprise no one that I could have chosen a post of hers for every month of the past year!
September: It’s no wonder that the Cheerful Cynic has such a devoted circle of friends. Not only is she fiercely loyal and protective of her inner circle, but would you want to get on her bad side? Didn’t think so…
October: He who Throws Hammers made me a little more comfortable about having conversations with my alter ego.
November: The incredibly talented Nato began his NaNoWriMo effort – I’m completely addicted. Can I have more, please sir?
December: Dooce’s husband tells his tale at Blurbomat. I cried.
There are at least twenty others I wanted to include, people whose words have had an impact on my life, people I know, people whose sites I’ve just discovered and look forward to reading. For those of you that made me laugh just when I needed it most, or moved me to tears, who informed me, who shared themselves – thank you so much.
January 16, 2008
Karma: Well, now. You do have quite a bit on your plate, haven’t you?
DT: So glad you noticed. You’re not planning anything I should know about, are you?
K: Well, you know, I was actually just about to ask you the same thing.
DT: Waitaminute. Aren’t you supposed to be the annoyingly omniscient and vengeful being capable of unparallelled schadenfreude?
K: Normally I don’t act on anything unless you’ve already done it. Fortunately for you, merely contemplating evil deeds doesn’t count – though some of those uncharitable thoughts are going to come back at you later – I’m still working out the details.
DT: Thanks for the heads up. Frankly, I’m too busy to get into trouble at the moment – that birthday party, Super Bowl plans, a trip to see Things One and Two – and that’s all starting after this class is over with.
K: And then there’s that turning thirty thing.
DT: Yes. And that. In April. I can always count on you to remember such things.
K: Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten. Well, I really must toddle off.
DT: Always a pleasure, K. Oh – before you go. About that other thing? Thanks.
K: No need to thank me. My job does work in both directions, you know. Here – have some Nutella, too.
January 14, 2008
I’d feel sorry for the poor guy, if he weren’t wholly responsible for what’s about to happen to him.
From my vantage point, it’s amusing. They meet her, and are immediately smitten. They always want more, always want to try to have as much of her as they can get.
It’s not in her nature to give them much. She’s mastered the art of detached warmth, the ability to be perfectly nice and considerate and a really fun person to be around, without giving them a millimeter more than she’s ready to.
And gentlemen, those millimeters, worthy as they are, have to be earned.
So when I heard that yet another one had gotten sufficiently frustrated to renounce his candidacy, I shook my head and smiled a bit. I’ve seen this before, many times over.
There really should be a support group for people in his position. He’ll need it in a few weeks, when he realizes the cost of his impatience. By that time, at least a few more will have emerged – some who made the same mistake and are asking for a second chance, some who have just begun to realize who it is they’ve met. She’ll be patiently explaining her terms to someone new, and he’ll be realizing that the reasons he found them difficult have little to do with her, and everything to do with his insecurity.
And then, all he’ll have to hold onto is the receipt for the cordless drill he got this particular apartment-dweller as a Christmas gift. Seriously, dude? At least if you’d gotten her a blender, she could’ve made margaritas.
Your name is ____, and you used to date DF. Registration line forms at the left.
Look – I feel like I have to step in here, because there’s a lot of stuff being pointed in the wrong direction.
I hoped that people would understand that my take on this situation was just that – my take. What my friend might be thinking, and how she views the situation, are not represented here at ALL. As far as I know, she hasn’t read here in some time. She’s not here to defend herself. So kindly back the fuck off of her, please.
If you’re going to tell someone to get over anyone, please direct such comments at me. I’m the one who’s suggesting that he’s making a mistake, that he will likely regret taking this step after he’s had some time to realize everything that she brought to his life, even if it wasn’t exactly what he thought he wanted at first.
That’s all me. Please respond accordingly.
January 3, 2008
Damn, this coffee’s cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins?
I was thinking I’d post the story about that time I started making out with my date at his work happy hour, both of us tipsy enough to be perfectly fine with such shenanigans, and how his co-workers teased us (for several months after the fact) about taking (I kid you not) a cab numbered 69 towards more of the same. Good times, good times.
Then I thought I might post about the guy whose sex addiction appeared to manifest itself during the third year of our relationship, while I was in law school. Inconvenient timing, that – poor boy was forced to seek companionship elsewhere, as I was a whole four-hour drive away. Have I mentioned taking some satisfaction in the knowledge that it took (at least) 3 women to replace me? Because I totally do.
I could write about how strange it is that I almost never discuss sex with my closest female friends, some of whom I’ve known for years. Or how absurdly prudish most of my law school classmates seemed – next time you need to relax, try drinking less and shagging more, maybe? Those “group study” rooms in the library did have locks, I’m just sayin’…
But the point I’d really like to address is that I’m not so sure a biological imperative should be a sin. It’s all about how you handle it. As per comments I’ve strewn about in various places, I really have no problem with anyone doing whatever they want with whomever they want. Feel like taking a wide stance? No problem. Feel better about it if there’s a hole in the sheet? Go crazy. I’m sure there are at least as many who would find my own proclivities repugnant, as there are (happily) who profess to share them, and I’ve got far, far better things to do with my time than worry about what everyone else is doing in bed.*
The real sin, I think, is when pursuit of satisfaction causes deliberate and/or unwelcome harm or hurt to someone else. Especially an innocent third (fourth? Fifth? I guess that depends on the situation) party. What I mean is, so long as everyone involved knows about and agrees to what’s going on and who’s involved, even when that individual isn’t present, I see no problem.**
Other than that? I think they missed the boat when deciding that this one was supposed to be a sin.
*I still think they should be doing more of it, though.
**Barring, of course (I wish I thought this could go without saying) anything involving children or animals.