August 20, 2010
Facebook hazard #932
When someone you’ve been friends with for something close to a decade posts a status that reveals views repugnant to you.
Frankly, I’m kinda pissed. I’m not sure at whom, though. At this person, for pretending to tolerance all these years? Or at myself, for ignoring other personality characteristics that would, if acknowledged, allowed me to discern these views and fade the friendship appropriately.
Even worse, part of me suspects that I’m pissed because his views reflect poorly on me. Nobody likes to say, “Oh, yeah, he’s kind of a {misogynist, racist, homophobe, bigot, ignorant asshole who has apparently forgotten how to use the rational parts of our brains that make us human), but he’s otherwise an okay guy, so I’m totally friends with him. Well, maybe some people like to say that. I don’t.
And right now, as I’m thinking of him, I’m thinking of a whole list of things about him that annoy me and make me want to not be his friend anymore. And I wonder if this is the opening of my eyes to the way I’ve always thought about this person, and the whole friendship was a lie, or if it’s just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Either way, back broken. Now, to unfriend, block, or hide?
Seeking John Galt 
vvk said,
August 20, 2010 at 1:39 pm
There’s no good answer to this question… especially if you have a shared group of friends. I’m not a big fan of the hide or block though, as it strikes me as passive aggressive.
Since the back is broken, that rules out engagement… which is usually my preferred technique.
Go Betty said,
August 23, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Up until now you have maybe tolerated the things that annoy you but this one has crossed an emotional boundary and as you say broken the back of the friendship.
Unfriending could start a whole bunch of crap and shit fights and side taking if you have mutual friends. Same with blocking, Me? I would just hide it from him and let the thing pass out of exsistance over time and then unfirend when all resdue is gone.
I am not into confrontation if its not going to have any effect on the outcome. 🙂